HOW TO MEET HER: Don’t fail at that next proposer
(By G.Y Lekia)
Genesis 24
The old Abraham had to charge his servant by oath, God being
the witness. This was a griever matter than the covenant Abraham had made with
Abimelech where he brought seven eve lambs (Genesis 21: 28). Here the servant
was ask to place his hands under the thigh of Abraham – a man God had made
great, whom the children of Heth called lord (Genesis 23:6). The servant was to
feel the weight of the thigh of the man who is the father of them who believe
by faith, a man who had sojourn on many lands,a friend of God (Isaiah 51:2;
Genesis 23:4). At the point of taking hold of Abraham’s thigh he knew the
weight of his master’s heart on the matter. Abraham was now close to his grave
– he was well stricken in age, a man of many experiences. As he held Abraham’s
thigh he understood that he was to make a decisions God made for Adam in Eden
when he brought Eve to Adam. The whole task of finding a wife (for Isaac) was
on him. Abraham had taken Sarah as wife having known her from childhood
(Genesis 20:12). This servant knew that in less than a moment he would be
required to take to wife for Isaac a woman he had never met. How he would need
discernment, diligence and a trained eyes and heart? …”thou shalt not take a
wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell”. The
grey-hair man said. He had known God, and his covenant; a circumcised man. The
people of the land were kind and good to Abraham (Genesis 23). Their daughters
could be educated and fair, and the people would be willing to give Abraham
their daughters in marriage. But nothing qualifies enough for such decision.
Not under any circumstance should a wife be taken from among the people Abraham
dwelt was the oath. How many Christians still believe that they can marry from
‘the world’? They would say ‘I love her’, ‘I will convert her’, and like
Samson, ‘she pleaseth me well’. And they know not that they cause God when they
implied by action that the bone of their bones and the flesh of their flesh is
not wash and redeem by the blood of Jesus. Son, do you neglect the words of
your father and be equally yoked with unbelievers, or do you mingle and corrupt
the holy seed in that you take to wife their daughters? (Ezra 9: 2)
Some may say the unbelieving wife is sanctified by her
believing husband: and that is true when the believing husband had married his
unbelieving wife as an unbelieving husband. For what fellowship has light with
darkness that the redeemed of God should love the daughters or sons of Belial?
The question is do you seek your will or the will of God?
And the servant having left his master was alone, remembered
as he was trained, prayed. It shocks to know that in a great decision like this
many do not pray. Some pray and yet do not pray through. Some grow weary and
others drown in the sea of emotion. He would not cast off his discipline. Why
would he flirt and roll from one side of his bed to the other burning with
passion? For before he had met the damsel he had prayed. I ask, do you pray? He
knew his master very well. Abraham would not take the damsel out, neither would
he give gifts. He would pray! Why some may feel if she be a daughter of God why
pray? They say ‘she is spiritual’ and would not pray. We learnt not so from the
patriarch nor the Apostles who said “Thou, Lord which knowest the hearts of all
men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen”. The servant of Abraham would
not let his eyes lead his heart, like some do, (Job 31:7) therefore he prayed.
He knew whoever he is led to choose will bear the seed of God and birth forth
the promise of God to his master. He was dealing with an issue on which the
covenant and promise of God, and the people of God and the people of Israel
even the Christ hung. He prayed – you see it was not trivial. None is of a
purer theology that before you meet man you should meet God.I ask again, do you
pray?
He prayed for a wife not a girl. He didn’t pray a vain
prayer. Like the Pharisee do. It was fervent and earnest as prayers ought to.
She should be one who can draw water from the well – a help meet, as Jacob too
had met Leah, One who can stoop. She should be able to bear the seed of promise
as Elizabeth knew of Mary and confessed “…the mother of my Lord should come to
me”. He prayed that one who was able to bear his lord unborn, Jacob who is to
be Israel; a patriarch in whom the twelve tribes would emerge should come to
him. The destiny of the whole of the nation of Israel to be was in the balance,
so he prayed fervently as Christ would do at Gethsemane and God heard him in
that he made a woman and brought her unto the man.
Rebekah was made for Isaac. Rebekah not knowing she was an
answer to prayers had quickly fit in the scene of play as a virtuous woman. She
was birth forth by prayer for who can find a virtuous woman?
I draw your attention
to this friend, though the servant had prayed, he did not close his eyes. They
were wide open, not for sensual use as we were told Rebekah was fair to look
upon, but to behold the wonders of God. For whatever the Lord does it is
marvelous in our sight. I do say as an English Reverend told his son “when you
go to find her watch and pray”. This servant of Abraham had cast off all
distractions and has passed the stage of ‘pray and go to bed’, as I was told by
a sister. He looked as he sees his own prayer been answered before his eyes.
Some pray and close their eyes yet they say I find a wife. When we pray let us
watch to see what God is doing and know if need be we intensify our prayers or
close in praise. It was not of doubt or lack of trust to pray and watch but we
do well to know whether the Lord had made our journey prosperous or not.
“… whose daughter art thou”? Now it was time to know who this
fair damsel.It was, as I see, safe now to meet the damsel and give gifts. He
had been with God. He withholds not what love would do – to give. It was safe
now for he had put God before emotion or any attachment. It was time to go get
her. He need not delay any further. He and seen her, he had tried her and it
was time to take her home. Some would say ‘I will marry you’ and then go to
enquire of God “is she the one?” They put the cart before the horse. Not this
servant of Abraham, he would not move men before moving the heart of God. I
make it plain that this man would not keep a damsel but make haste to meet her
father. He knew there was no point tempting the devil and working that which is
unlawful as some do with their bodies.
See, he sealed the testimony with worship (vs. 27). He would
not forget in hurry like a heart merry with wine or like the nine lepers what
God had done for him. The excitement of a beautiful damsel would not fade this
to the background. We do not learn yet who this servant was, whether he was
Eliezer (Genesis 15:2) or some other. But he introduced himself as a servant of
Abraham. It is this Abraham whose name God had made great (Genesis 12:2).
‘Abraham’, a singular name need not be called Tehrah Abraham, or Dr Abraham or
Rev. Dr Abraham (JP). He needs not all that. All you need call was ‘Abraham’
and we know who you spoke of.
God has made his name great, and this servant it sufficed him
to say ‘I am Abraham’s servant’. Moreover, he was there for none other than
Abraham’s. How many young men want to make a name before they step out? They
want a title and great fortunes. Some though not having any of these lay false
claims to it and think it is of any good to impress the damsel or her family
like this. God loves the humble and let us like Abraham’s servant and the
Apostle Paul say … I am a servant of Jesus. Marriage is honourable and he that finds
a wife finds a good thing and obtainsfavour from the Lord. Marriage is beyond
pleasure seeking. It is two coming together to fulfill God’s mandate on earth.
They join in spirit to achieve a common assignment. It is done with the consent
of both families.
In verse 52 and 53 we observe this servant worship the Lord again.
His is a grateful heart. And also we note that he did all necessary appreciation
and tender gifts and payment to receive the parents blessing (vs. 60).
Rebekah when she was called to seek her consent she flinch
not but said “I will go”. What a prompt reply and accurate discernment: she was
prepared for God’s best? She is a woman; the choice was not to be made for her.
She perhaps had prayed and knew God’s mind on the matter and her life. She was
prepared for marriage and when the time came she had her answers. Rebekah
indeed was a virtuous woman not just beautiful. We know how well it is spoken
of her in Proverbs 31.
She did something that
would draw the attention of every diligent reader. In verse 64 it said that
when she saw Isaac she lighted off her Camel. Rebekah was not a woman who would
meet a man and remained on her camel. What woman wants peace at home and yet
seeks to captain the ship? Are there not some who nurse the intention that
someday they will ascend above the heights of the cloud, and within the thought
burns quietly:“… I will be like the most High”. Rebekah would rather put off
her educational qualification, her social status, her ‘spirituality’, and
whatever she had attained and submit to the man. When it is marriage, she knows
well that the man, whoever is the Lord has given her is her lord. She would not
join the daughters of the land to agitate for gender equality in her family.
How this falsehood had crept into the church and among God’s people – that some
seek to make equal with the woman what God has made the head?
Next we notice she covers her face with a veil (vs. 65) when
she heard it was her lord. It is far gone into thin air, the subject of
shamefacedness. But the Holy writ does show that woman (Godly wives) should be
shamefaced. And I do make it clear that the Bible is not being traditional or
outdated on the subject matter – this is an issue that will be address when
this writing touches majorly on the young women.
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